Your love was worthy of my life and so I gave it gladly. Not with a sign or wine but a smirk and smile happy as the day we (never) met. No sacrifice or ritual needed in that threaded ends well met, decided to put to rest such a restless deviled man. I took that decision like a Eucharist and paid the madman price. The cost of amends to no past or regret but terrified of God and heaven's bothers.
Once for the lies, two times for the um's, three times for the If-Only-She-Chose. Three gulps and a morose drowse dogged my eyelids. I blinked and fought the hell I chose, refused to go so gently by. A cupboard mumbled tomorrow and the closet whispered "Patience!" in an outfit and a promise.
A voice called me to bed and I listened. A voice told me to breathe although I couldn't. A voice saccharined sweet kisses of forget against my lips and for an instance the world, the mind, the thought of thought was incoherent. The void smothered and soothed the rash and scrapes and Should's and Only-If's until nothing existed except a sour and mellow drumming.
Da dump, da dump, da dump.
Oh quiet violence, oh wild blood still stirring in my vacant heart.
Da dump, da dump.
I only wanted-I should have just-why couldn't it could have been.
A whisper whispered to close my eyes, and so I did.